just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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