Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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