Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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