Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dick very happy bro
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
