you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
