it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
