Welp...herpes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
