At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
