No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
