Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
