I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
