Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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