then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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