I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
