please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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