We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize