So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
