O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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