She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
