She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
