Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
