with your own penis?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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