Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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