Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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