Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
