hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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