i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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