Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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