dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
