I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
