I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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