If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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