The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
