matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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