Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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