I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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