Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
