Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
