Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
