I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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