By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
