Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
