the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
