My nipple is on Facebook.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
