and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
