: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
