I just saw a hot homeless man
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
