Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
