she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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