you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
