is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
