Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
