I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
