You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
