Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
