we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
