3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
