You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
